When the wisest biblical writer who ever lived begins a command with the three words, “above all else,” we need to pay attention. That is the way that Proverbs 4:23 begins: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” As we come in our study of the Ten Commandments and arrive at the tenth, we realize that this final commandment goes beyond our behavior to the matter of our hearts. You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's. (Ex 20:17). As I have meditated on this commandment I've come to believe that God takes the sin of coveting much more seriously than we do. This episode looks at the vital matter of the desires of our hearts and how they can lead us astray.
The seriousness of unguarded heart desires, which open the door to wanting what belongs to someone else, is not only highlighted in the Ten Commandments; the NT reveals that this sin of evil, covetous desires was taken very seriously by the Apostle, Paul. For example, Paul, looking back on his pre-Christian life in Romans 7 summarizes his slavery to sin in the words, Sin in me produced all kinds of covetousness. Furthermore, in his letters, Paul made statements like this to the Ephesians:
Sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you as is proper among the Saints for you may be sure of this that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure or is covetous has no inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and God.
In Acts 20, When Paul bids farewell to the Ephesian elders, the way he stated that his ministry to them was done uprightly and with a clear conscience was to say that he had not coveted: Now, I commend you to God and to the word of his grace which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified. I coveted no one silver or gold or apparel vs 31-32). The reality of the sin of coveting was much more prominent in the mind of Paul than it is in our minds, I suspect. So, let's dig into a study of this Tenth Commandment, making four observations about covetousness.
A. Observation # 1. Covetousness is about our desires. This commandment is unique in that its focus is not outward actions like the other five commandments in the Second Table of the Law (about our horizontal relationships). Rather, it is on the heart attitude of covetousness. It addresses the issue of human desire and it's our desires that causes us to break the other commandments. Consider the example of King David. His desire for Bathsheba was coveting another's wife, a direct violation of the Tenth Commandment. But it led to breaking the 7th commandment against adultery and the 6th commandment against murder by murdering Uriah. David also violated the 8th commandment against stealing because he stole Uriah's wife. And he violated the 9th commandment, to speak truthfully to our neighbor, by lying and trying to cover up his sin. So, David ends up violating the 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th Commandments all because he let himself break the 10th commandment. It all began with David's coveting another man's wife. When you stop and think about it, all of life is about managing our desires, which is why God gives us the wisdom in Proverbs 4:23, Watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life.
James reflects the same truth when he warns us that temptation strikes through our desires. James 1:14-15: But each person is tempted when he is dragged away by his own desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full grown, gives birth to death. The desire, itself, may be evil, like wounding our mate with sharp words because we were just wounded by her sharp words. Our God-given sexual desires can be corrupted into the desire to have sex with a woman who is not our wife or into same-sex attraction. But the desire itself may also be fully righteous. However, temptation ignites this desire into over-desire. James is saying that whether the desire is itself sinful or not, temptation begins by igniting desire to be overpowering. The first step, says James, is transforming routine desire into run-away desire. Satan takes evil or normal, God-given desire, and pours gasoline on it until it is out of control, like a blazing forest-fire. James’ words again: “it drags you away and entices you to sin.”
- The fruit in the Garden of Eden was attractive to Eve; but it was when her desire for it became a run-away desire that she sinned.
- Desiring to succeed in school is a godly desire; but when that desire becomes over-desire, cheating can happen.
- Desiring to succeed on the job is a godly desire. But when it becomes run-away desire, it can lead to cutting ethical corners or giving misleading information.
- Desiring to give nice gifts to our loved ones is a good desire—but when It becomes run-away desire, leading us to spend way too much money at Christmas—the world’s advertising is getting through, creating over-desire.
“Over-desire” is a good translation of the Greek word used by James. It is translated, “evil desire” by the NIV and “lust” by the NASB. The ESV simply leaves it “desire.” The word is EPI-THUMIAS. THUMIAS is already the strongest Greek word for desire. The word EPI means intense. Thus, this word means “intense, intense desire,” “over desire,” “run-away desire.” This is the normal word for both lust and coveting in the NT. In the Greek translation of the OT, called the Septuagint, EPI-THUMIA is the Greek word chosen to translate covet in the Tenth Commandment. Covetousness begins by inflaming desire. In the words of Deitrick Bonhoeffer,
In our members there is a slumbering inclination toward desire which is both sudden and fierce with irresistible power. Desire seizes mastery over the flesh. All at once a secret smoldering fire is kindled. The flush burns and is in flames. It makes no difference whether it is sexual desire or ambition or vanity or desire for revenge or love of fame and power or greed for money.
So, the first observation is that covetousness is about our desires.
B. Observation # 2: Covetousness is a form of idolatry. As we have seen, the first commandment, “You shall have no other gods before me” is the command to keep God first in our life, first in our affections, first on the list of those you depend upon and need, first as the place to go for heart satisfaction when your heart feels empty and bored. When we covet, we have to shove God out of first place in our lives because what has taken his place, at least momentarily, is over-desire, runaway desire, intense intense desire for something that someone else has—his house, wife, possessions, prestige or title. Paul tells us in Ephesians 5 that covetousness is idolatry. His exact words are: You may be sure of this—that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure or who is covetous (that is an idolater) has no inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and God.
Covetousness happens when my desire for something or some person that belongs to someone else becomes too intense. Instead of taking every heart hunger to God and trusting him to satisfy it, I let the intensity of that desire bring forth sin. So, interestingly, The Ten Commandments begin by addressing the focus of our hearts in the prohibition against idolatry and end by addressing the focus of our heart in coveting what another has. The first and last commandments show God boxing us into recognizing that God is the answer to our deepest longings. No substitute will do. No experience. No person. No trinket. No toy. And especially no person or thing that belongs to someone else. So, the second observation is that covetousness is idolatry.
C. Observation # 3: Covetousness is more evil than we think. Besides this intense desire that temporarily takes center stage in our lives, this desire is focused on what belongs to someone else—your neighbor’s house, or wife, or servant, ox, or donkey. The insidious thing about this sin is that wanting this object that you covet not only means enjoying it for yourself, your desire for it also requires depriving your neighbor of it. Is anything more opposite to loving your neighbor as yourself than selfishly wanting to take away what your neighbor enjoys so that you can enjoy it?
Yet, in the marketplace, it is frightfully easy to covet another person’s position, a competitor’s success, a rival’s respect. It is easy to covet a wealthy neighbor’s standard of living. With pornography so prevalent, it is easy to covet sexual practices in marriage that our wife isn’t open to, imagining that every other marriage is experiencing greater sexual pleasure. When it comes to coveting your neighbor’s wife, it is a documented fact that most adultery takes place among friends. One of the foursome, says, “Now that’s the kind of marriage partner I’d like to have—one who understands me and I can open up to.” Before you know it, admiration turns into flirtation. I’ve known several men who had affairs with their best friend’s wife. These guys didn’t start out planning to betray their best friend, but they didn’t watch over their hearts. They allowed their desires to be ignited, their desire to emotionally connect with their friend’s wife, their desire to then romantically connect, and then the desire to connect sexually. The third observation is that covetousness is more serious than we think because of where it can lead.
D. Observation # 4: Covetousness is more subtle than we realize. In the wealthy West we are continually bombarded by advertisements convincing us of things we must have to be happy. In fact, we see such advertisements so frequently that we subtly start to conclude that everyone but us is basking in happiness because of these purchases. The more we are flooded with messages about what everyone else has, the harder it is to be uncorrupted by the materialism of our age. We are constantly seeing pictures of wonderful things from jewelry to clothes, to miraculous dietary supplements, to tools. They are wonderful and God wants us to enjoy the products that humankind develops in this world. Yet, Paul wrote to Timothy, If we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.
PREEMPTIVE STRATEGY TO PREVENT COVETOUSNESS
Hebrews 13:4-5
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
A. Antidote # 1 to coveting your neighbor’s wife: Let marriage be held in honor among all men (vs 4). When it comes to marriage, the best defense is a great offense. Proverbs 5:18-20 reads:
Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
A preemptive strike against coveting another’s wife is to “highly value” your marriage. The Greek word for “honored” in verse 4 is TIMIOS, which means consider precious, highly value. The Hebrews, to whom this letter was written, lived in a culture that devalued marriage. The highly religious could not bring themselves to accept the “earthly” passion of sex in marriage. The irreligious viewed sex as recreational, not the sacred celebration of a lifelong commitment to become one in the covenant of marriage. To “highly value” your marriage as this text commands, at the very least means saving energy and time for each other, keeping your relationship a priority over the kids and work. We can’t be giving marriage the priority God wants it to have if we give our marriage the leftovers of our energy and time.
B. Antidote # 2: Keep yourself free from the love of money (vs. 5). How do we do this? By watching over our heart. Here are two suggestions for heart management to preempt the love of money:
1. Tithe. Give back to God the first ten percent of your income. Many Christians do not have an accurate understanding of why tithing is so important to our walk with Jesus. The reason for taking the first ten percent of our gross income and writing a check to the local church or worldwide church (Christian ministries) is to keep the First Commandment: You shall have no other gods before me. Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters. You cannot serve God and money.” Tithing is God’s appointed ritual to honor him as first in your life—and not Mammon. You get to keep ninety percent. But the point is that it is the first ten percent that goes to God, demonstrating that he is first in our lives.
Tithing also reflects a vital heart management principle. Jesus warned us not to pile up treasure on earth where it can be lost three ways, to moths, to rust, and to thieves. Instead, we are to keep our treasure in heaven where it is secure. But then Jesus revealed a great heart management principle: For wherever your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Our hearts follow our investments. If we are to seek first the kingdom of God, we need to invest the first ten percent of our income in Christ’s kingdom. In 45 years of ministry, apart from having a daily Quiet Time, I’ve seen no step more important for spiritual growth than giving God the firstfruits of our labor. God explains this principle in Proverbs 3:9-10; Honor Yahweh with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce: then your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will be bursting with wine.
2. A second pathway to being free from the love of money, as Hebrews 13:5 commands, is to enjoy what we have—to drink deeply of the pleasures and blessings God has already given us. People love money not because they want to paper walls with hundred-dollar bills. They love money because it is the power to get what they think they need to satisfy their hearts and don’t have. We can preempt the love of money by enjoying the blessings you already have. Life is about relationships. Enjoy God. Enjoy your spouse. Enjoy your family. Enjoy your friends. Chuck Swindoll wisely writes:
The good life—the one that truly satisfies—exists only when we stop wanting a better one. It is the condition of savoring what is rather than longing for what might be. The itch for things, the lust for more—so brilliantly injected by those who peddle them—is a virus draining our souls of happy contentment. Have you noticed? A man never earns enough. A woman is never beautiful enough. Clothes are never fashionable enough. Cars are never nice enough. Gadgets are never modern enough. Houses are never furnished enough… Satisfaction comes only when we step off the escalator of desire and say, “This is enough. What I have will do. What I make of it is up to me and my vital union with the living Lord.”
C. Antidote # 3: Practice contentment. Verse 5 of Hebrews 13 continues, Be content with what you have. Notice that we are commanded to be content. Contentment is a choice—an act of the will. We tend to think of contentment as a condition we may or may not experience, but it is a decision we learn to make. Paul said, “I have learned to be content.” I’m sure Paul could share many secrets about learning to be content but here is just one that he shared. Cultivate a heart of thankfulness. To the Christians at Thessalonica, he said, “Give thanks in all circumstances: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” To the Colossians, he simply wrote: Be thankful. A thankful heart leads towards contentment and away from covetousness. But there is a big obstacle to a thankful heart; it is taking our innumerable blessings for granted. Author Max Lucado describes this tendency to take things for granted as the work of The Agent of Familiarity. He writes:
The Agent of Familiarity has a commission from the black throne room which is clear and fatal: “Take nothing from your victim; cause him only to take everything for granted.” His goal is nothing less than to take what is most precious to us and make it appear most common.
Nor will he steal your home from you; he’ll do something far worse. He’ll paint the familiar with a coat of drabness.
He’ll replace wedding gowns with bathrobes, nights on the town with evenings in the recliner, and romance with routine. He’ll scatter the dust of yesterday over the wedding pictures in the hallway until they become a memory of another couple in another time.
He won’t take your children; he’ll just make you too busy to notice them. His whispers to procrastinate are seductive. There’s always next summer to coach the team, next month to go to the lake, and next week to teach Johnny how to pray. He’ll make you forget that the faces around your table will soon be at tables of their own. Hence, books will go unread, games will go unplayed, hearts will go unnurtured, and opportunities will go ignored. All because the poison of the ordinary has deadened our senses to the magic of the moment.
When our heart stops taking our blessings for granted and is filled with thankfulness for all the blessings around us, covetousness cannot find a way into our hearts.
Antidote # 4: Trust God’s character. As Hebrews 13:5 continues, the author gives another clear reason for being content: The reason is God’s personal commitment to us. “Be content with what you have, for he has written, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” Someone has defined contentment as “Trusting that God has already provided everything necessary for your present happiness.”
Deeply rooted in our sinful nature is distrust of God. We’re not always convinced he wants to bless us. When I think of my distrust of God I think of my experiences bottle-feeding my first-born daughter at 2 AM. Every feeding I would give her as much as she wanted. She had every reason to trust me. But every night, the second I took the bottle away to burp her, she started to cry. I’d say, “Kim, trust me. I’ll give you more as soon as I burp you.” You know what? She never did.
If you’re like I am, so long as day-in and day-out we are getting fat and happy with God’s blessing, we’re fine. But let God take the bottle away and we start fussing, complaining, and looking for a bottle somewhere else. The fourth principle for preempting covetousness is to take our needs and desires to God and trusting him to see that they are satisfied.
For Further Prayerful Thought.
- In what ways does the concept of “over-desire” which is the meaning of the Greek word for both lust and covetousness make sense?
- Paul stated that covetousness was idolatry. How would you explain that. What do you think is the significance of the bookends of the Ten Commandments, the first and tenth, addressing the issue of heart desires?
- Do you agree that God takes the sin of coveting more seriously than we usually do? Do you think we are worse at ignoring this commandment’s significance than ignoring the other commandments.
- Which principles for preempting covetousness most stood out to you?
