Our culture has been compared to the ocean in which we swim. Like the ocean it is all around us. Like the ocean our culture contains powerful, unseen undercurrents that can capture our loved ones and drag them to destruction. At this cultural moment many twenty-somethings raised in Christian homes are being carried out to a sea of false ideas leading them to deconstruct their faith or cast overboard the unpopular truths of it. Because of the explosion of the social media, Christian men who are faithful to lead their homes, have no choice but to try to understand the worldviews being promoted, daily, in the ears of the rising generation and then accepting the challenge of showing them how faulty these false ideas are. That is why authors John Stonestreet and Brett Kunkle say, “Not to clarify the cultural issues of our day with the next generation is a dereliction of duty" (A Practical Guide to Culture). Today, we look at the cultural drift that has been called, the rise and triumph of the modern SELF—the ideology that locates human identity, meaning, purpose, fulfillment, freedom, and authenticity in the autonomy of the human SELF. We examine how this destructive worldview harms those who embrace it, and how to help the rising generation see how much more sense the biblical worldview of identity, purpose, fulfillment, and authenticity makes.
One of the often-forgotten facts about Christianity is that it is a covenant. “This is the new covenant in my blood,” said Jesus (Lk 22:20). In the ancient world covenants were not limited to just individuals but were made with families. That is why on the day of Pentecost, Peter proclaimed that the promise of salvation “is for you and your children” (Acts 2:39). That is why God says of Abraham, the father of all OT and NT believers, I have chosen him, that he may COMMAND HIS CHILDREN AND HIS HOUSEHOLD after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him (Gen 18:19).
Those seeking to guide the next generation into truth, righteousness, and justice, will find the analysis of Dr. Carl Trueman, professor of biblical and religious studies at Grove City college, valuable. He uses the example of the recent explosion of transgenderism to track back to the way our culture has changed its view of human identity. In the introduction of his book, The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self, Trueman writes, “the normalization of transgenderism cannot be properly understood until it is set within the context of a much broader transformation in how society understands the nature of human selfhood…” This transformation of the concept of the SELF is shown in the increasing focus on inwardness, i. e. the inner psychological life and the prioritization of an individual’s inner psyche, (his or her feelings) over objective reality. He continues, “Transgenderism provides an excellent example: people who think they are a woman trapped in a man’s body are really making their inner psychological convictions ABSOLUTELY DECISIVE for who they are.” The concept of happiness is now found by turning inward—what makes me feel good—what seems best for my psychological well-being, instead of turning outward to providing for our loved ones and serving other members of society. The cosmic question, “what am I here for?” is answered, “to BE ME, to find my own way, to throw off any external constraints and discover who I REALLY AM.” The epitome of this ME’ism is the right to make TRUTH FOR MYSELF. Until now it was understood that the world is objectively real—and mankind’s intellectual growth was in how to adjust to reality. Now, the widespread acceptance of the idea that gender is based on what you feel inside, instead of based upon biological truth is the epitome of this new subjectivism.
In the rest of this episode, we will examine five ways that the modern concept of the SELF fails and then how to help the rising generation see how the biblical worldview of human identity is far richer, more coherent, more affirming of human worth, and matches what we know about reality.
CRITIQUE OF THE MODERN CONCEPT OF IDENTITY: WHO AM I?
A. Modern identity (turning inward) is FICKLE & UNSTABLE. Our identity must be a sense of self that is durable. You live in many spheres at once. You are a family member, a roommate, a work associate, a neighbor, and are sometimes alone. To have an identity is to have something that is true of you in every setting. Otherwise, there would be no “you.” Our sense of self also embodies the need to feel significant. In ancient societies, as well as many non-Western cultures today, the SELF was defined and shaped by both internal desires and external social roles and relationships. If you ask, “Who are you?” they would most likely say they are a wife or a son or a member of a particular tribe or describe the way they serve their society as a farmer, store owner, or government worker. Their identity comes from they way they fit into the social fabric and how they uphold the jointly held values of the group. Fulfillment came from denying themselves to care for their family, serve their customers well, or fight for the group’s ideals. In Mel Gibson’s movie, “Brave Heart,” William Wallace addresses his troops before they fight the English. “Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace… And I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny…. Fight and you may die. Run and you'll live, at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!!” Heroes were those who sacrificed for ideals and people outside themselves—NOT for their own fulfillment.
In stark contrast the modern view of the SELF is seen in Maria’s song in the “Sound of Music.” “Climb every mountain. Ford every stream. Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream.” Or for the younger crowd, the words of Elsa from the movie, “Frozen” send the same message. “It’s time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through. No right, no wrong, no rules for me, I’m free.” Freedom comes from breaking free from relationships which impose obligations on us. We need to look INSIDE to find our own dream—and then follow every rainbow in the hopes of reaching whatever that is.
The problem with this self-centered worldview is that your identity will always be changing. If you look into your heart to find your desires, you will discover that you have many desires and that they contradict one another. Your desire to be successful in your career will conflict with your desire to have a successful marriage, which requires you to save energy and time to devote to your mate. So, who are you? A systems analyst division chief or a husband? In addition, our inner dreams are illusive and often unrealistic. What happens to a college football player whose dream is to play in the NFL when he finds himself never getting a chance to even start in college? And besides being contradictory and illusive our inner desires are constantly changing. But, by definition, your identity is having a stable, core sense of who you are, day in and day out, in different settings and different times. That is why forging an identity both through our inner ambitions and through our place in society—our outside relationships made sense. Pastor scholar Tim Keller writes,
“If your identity is just your desires, they are going to be changing all the time. If in every situation you seek your own self-interest, responding in ways that get the approval and control you want at the moment, then identity essentially disappears...there is no self at all. What seems to be the self is merely a series of social masks that change with each successive situation. Ironically, the emphasis on “being yourself” apart from fixed social roles results in there being no sustained “you” left” (Making Sense of God). So, turning inward to find my identity through WHAT I WANT always leads to instability and insecurity because inward desires are changing and contradictory.
B. Modern identity (turning inward) can’t impart a true SENSE OF WORTH. Gail Sheehy, in her best-selling book, Passages reflected the increasingly popular worldview back in the nineteen seventies, that has led to where we are today. In these words, she is affirming authenticity and independence as the highest virtues.
"You are moving…away from institutional and other people’s agenda. Away from external valuations and accreditations, in search of an inner validation. You are moving out of (social) roles and into the self…Whatever counterfeit safety we hold from overinvestments in people and institutions must be given up….It is for each of us to find a course that is valid by our own reckoning."
The message is that you bestow significance upon yourself. Your SELF is the place where you must find validation. This is a widely believed myth in today’s culture. But it cannot stand up to thoughtful scrutiny. You cannot get an identity from self-recognition; it must come in great measure from others. Keller, again writes,
“In the end, we can’t say to ourselves, “I don’t care that everyone else in the world thinks I am a monster. I love myself and that is all that matters.” That would not convince us of our worth, unless we are mentally unsound. We need someone from outside to say we are of great worth, and the greater the worth of that someone or someones, the more power they have to instill a sense of self and of worth. Only if we are approved and loved by someone whom we esteem can we achieve any esteem…We need someone we respect to respect us. We need someone we admire to admire us. Even when modern people claim to be validating themselves, the reality is always that they are socializing themselves into a new community of peers, of “cheerleaders,” of people whose approval they crave” (Ibid).
Many today say, “This is who I am—I don’t care what society thinks; I only care what I think.” But then on social media, we see what has really happened. One community and set of cheerleaders is rejected and new ones adopted. And the person is thinking about HERSELF in exactly way the new community dictates. Consider the teen girl who comes out “trans.” She claims that her “Inner self” is telling her that she is a boy. But research shows a very tight link between such teen girls and their new online trans peers. It is her peers’ reality that she is being guided by, not hers. We are wired so that trying to find worth INSIDE OURSELVES doesn’t work. We need others to impart value to us.
C. Modern identity creates incredible PRESSURE “to measure up”. Our modern culture tells us that we have the power to create ourselves. But a self-made identity forged on our performance and achievement makes our self-worth fragile in the face of failure and difficulty. Keller saw the internal pressure that thinking we have the power to create ourselves put on the Manhattanites of his church.
"All this produces a pressure and anxiety beyond what our ancestors knew. We have to decide our look and style, our stance and ethos. We then have to promote ourselves and be accepted in the new space—professional, social, aesthetic—in which we have chosen to create ourselves. As a result, “new modes of conformity arise” as people turn themselves into “brands.”
We become increasingly enslaved to the recognition given or withheld by significant others. You have to live up to the “brand” you are consciously or unconsciously promoting about yourself. Failure can crush you.
D. Modern identity promotes the FAULTY DEFINITION OF FREEDOM as autonomy. Today’s culture believes freedom is the highest good. Christians should celebrate the emphasis on individual freedom that is a central part of our Western culture. It has led to incalculable good and to a far more just society in recent years for women and minorities. But freedom is coming to be defined in a more and more destructive way as the absence of limitations or restraints. But in reality defining freedom this way is not only destructive it is unworkable. Here is why.
- The absence of limitations in this world is a fantasy. Freedom from restraints only exists in the make-believe world of flying superheroes taking deadly blows but never showing any wounds to their bodies. I have Type 2 Diabetes. If I want to be free from having my legs amputated and live long enough to enjoy my grandchildren, I must constrain my desire for sugar and overcome my dislike of aching muscles. The freedom for the concert pianist’s fingers to fly across the keys is the result of constraining herself to practice many hours every day. Furthermore, as author Atul Gawandi points out in his book, Being Mortal, living a life free of coercion is a fantasy. It is an illusion that can only be temporarily supported when we are young and healthy adults. But as children we were dependent upon the care of others, when we get old, we will be again. If we ever get injured or sick that can happen now. “Our lives are inherently dependent upon others and subject to forces beyond our control.”
- Humans find true freedom only if they are willing to submit their choices to reality, including, especially, the reality of your design. You are not free to stick your hand in the fire and not be burned. Reality is that fire burns flesh. A fish is not free when taken out of water and put on the grass. Its freedom comes from honoring its design. If you see a sailboat moving swiftly on the water, it is because the sailor is honoring the boat’s design. In the same way humans flourish in certain environments and break down in others. Unless you honor the givens and limits of your physical body, you will never know the freedom of health. Unless you honor the givens and limits of human relationships, you will never know the freedom of love and relational peace. If you actually lived the way you wanted to—never aligning your choices with physical and relational reality—you would quickly die and die alone.
- The modern definition of the rights of the SELF to be free from restraints DESTROYS COMMUNITY. Jonathan Haidt, in his book, The Happiness Hypothesis: Putting Ancient Wisdom and Philosophy to the Test, argues that strong social relationships are foundational to human relationships, “Having (them) strengthens the immune system, extends life (more than does quitting smoking), speeds recovery from surgery, and reduces the risk of depression and anxiety disorders….We need to interact and intertwine with others; we need to give and to take; we need to belong.” Therefore, Haidt continues, “An ideology of extreme personal freedom can be dangerous because it encourages people to leave homes, jobs, cities, and marriages in search of personal and professional fulfillment, thereby breaking the relationships that were probably their best hope for fulfillment.”—Defining freedom as the absence of restraints destroys the foundation of happiness--relationships.
- The concept that for the SELF to flourish, it must be free from restraints leads to DESTRUCTIVE CHILD REARING. The fundamental responsibility of parents is to teach a child that the world does NOT revolve around HIM—but that he needs to take control of himself and adjust to the realities of life. Back to Carl Truman’s observations, the epitome of this misguided approach to child-rearing is the idea that parents should raise their child to be genderless and decide for themselves what their gender is.
The modern exaltation of the SELF contains a false, destructive view of freedom.
E. Modern identity CHOOSES TO LIVE A DELUSION. The underpinnings of modern identity confuse subjective truth claims with objective truth claims, exalting the subjective modern self as the arbiter of truth rather than objective reality. Subjective truth claims” are grounded in the people who make them. “Krispy Kream doughnuts are the best doughnuts” is a subjective truth claim, a matter of my opinion. While it may be true for me, it isn’t necessary true for others. In contrast my mechanic’s claim, “your brakes are fixed” is an objective truth claim. If I leave the shop and the brakes fail, the mechanic’s truth claim was proved objectively false—no matter what my mechanic’s belief was. The more our culture descends into subjectivity and the fuzzier we allow the rising generation of Christians to become in their thinking, the more we can expect them to be taken captive by thinking that we ourselves determine our physical reality. This is cruel reversal of the truth. A biological girl is a female. That truth is reality. Puberty blockers, cross gender hormones, and gender top and bottom surgeries do not turn women into men but into miserable marred women.
A BETTER WAY TO UNDERSTAND HUMAN IDENTITY
A. In contrast to the modern view of identity, which is fickle and unstable, the biblical worldview says: Every human being, rich poor, black, brown or white, brilliant and mentally challenge, physically whole or physically impaired, of high birth or low birth has enormous value and worth because he or she bears the image of an eternal God. Our successes, our failures, our unattractiveness or our ignorance—nothing can change our eternal value. Our sense of worth is secure and unchanging because it is tied to an unchanging God.
B. In contrast to the modern view of identify that fails to provide a true sense of worth the biblical worldview says: The one who imparted to us the dignity of being his representative is God, himself. Those who come to faith in Christ also discover that they were designed before the foundation of the world for specific good works. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Eph 2:10). The gifts and good works are discovered and reinforced in the faith community, to which we belong. THAT is identity, not gazing at our own belly button!
C. In contrast to the modern view of identity that creates incredible pressure to “measure up,” the biblical worldview says: For those who come to faith in Christ, we are not only perfectly created and hold the office of God’s image-bearer, we are personally wanted. We are desired. The Bible uses the two strongest forms of human love as analogies for his desire for us—that of a bridegroom full of passion for his bride, and that of a father who wants us so much that he has adopted us into his own family.
D. In contrast to the modern view of identity that promotes a false definition of freedom as “autonomy,” the biblical worldview says: In Christ, God redeems the human desire to rule and exercise dominion from wanting AUTONOMOUS rule to ruling God’s creation FOR HIM. Freedom is not the right to do what I want but the power to live according to God’s perfect design for life on planet earth. The wisdom of God becomes more precious than jewels because we were not designed to live on bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.
E. In contrast to the modern view of identity that launches us into a delusional misconnect from reality, the biblical worldview says: Christ-followers base our identity, our calling, and our life purpose upon objective truth. God created man in his image as two distinct genders to complete what is lacking in the other. God assigned different roles in the home and church based upon his creation calling to both husbands and wives to show Christ to the world. As disciples of Christ, we never turn away from objective truth—about the nature of God’s physical universe including the reality that gender is binary (science) or the nature of the spiritual world. As disciples of Christ, we are committed to abiding in Christ’s word knowing that it will enable us to know the truth, and that truth sets us free.”
Questions for Guiding the Rising Generation to think about this material.
- You probably haven’t thought about it much but when you leave for college and get ready to be on your own—your identity, who you were created to be is an important question. Right now, how would you answer the question, “who are you?” How do you think most of your friends would answer?
- What do you think about the statement “This is who I am—I don’t care what society thinks; I only care what I think?”
- What do you think of the statement that is often made in graduation speeches, “You can become anyone you want to be with enough determination.”
- What do you think of the statement, “authentic living is being free from restraints—especially institutions like the church, family, and government?”
