If Christian men are asked, What one prayer in your entire life do you most want God to answer?” nearly all of them with kids would say, “I most want God to work in the hearts of my children to bring them to faith and a strong walk with Christ.” That answer pleases God, because he wants Christian men to leave behind a godly heritage. This episode looks at how important this calling is to God, and how he wants us to build a godly legacy that impacts generations to come.
One day, I was asked, “How much thought have you given to your fathering legacy.” I answered, “Not too much.” No matter what stage of life we are in, we are probably too busy doing what we need to get done this week to think much about something as nebulous and far away as my fathering legacy. Yet, whether you are on the front end of adulthood or adding great grandchildren to your tribe, it is worth considering how we can make the most strategic investment of ourselves to build a godly heritage because, God, himself underscores the importance of the spiritual heritage we are building: I the Lord your God visit the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but show steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments (Ex 20:5-6). A father can send the darkness of sin down through the next four generations or send the light of God down to his descendants. Consider a few examples:
In 1874 a man named Richard L. Dugdale was employed by the New York Prison Commission to visit the state prisons. As he visited, he was surprised to find criminals in six different prisons that were all descended from the same family. This led Mr. Dugdale to an exhaustive study of 1200 people who were the progeny of a man to whom he gave the fictitious name, Max Jukes. Dugdale compiled this list of Max Juke’s descendants.
- 310 of the 1,200 were professional paupers—more than one in four.
- 300 of the 1,200—one in four—died in infancy from lack of good care and good conditions.
- 50 women who lived lives of notorious debauchery.
- 7 were murderers.
- 60 were habitual thieves who spent on the average twelve years each in lawlessness.
- 130 criminals who were convicted in some way of crime.
A generation later a researcher named A. W. Winship compiled records of the descendants of Jonathan Edwards, a busy author, theologian, pastor, and President of Princeton Seminary, who nevertheless committed himself to building a godly heritage into his children—all 11 of them. Every evening before dinner, he gave them his full attention for one hour and often took a child with him on trips. When Edwards died, his wife, Sarah, commented to her daughter, “Oh what a legacy my husband and your father has left us.” She saw the value of the spiritual heritage he left behind, but never could have imagined the ultimate results. Winship compiled a list of Edwards’ descendants and then decided to contrast the list to the descendants of Max Jukes in the book, Jukes-Edwards: A Study in Education and Heredity, published in 1900. In the Legacy of Jonathan Edwards are:
- 1 U.S. Vice-President
- 3 U.S. Senators
- 3 governors
- 3 mayors
- 13 college presidents
- 30 judges
- 65 professors
- 80 public office holders
- 100 lawyers
- 100 missionaries, pastors and theologians.
God’s intention is for every Christian father to build a godly spiritual heritage that he passes on to his descendants.
Biblical Overview of Importance of Fathers Building Their Spritual Heritage into Their Children
A. In Genesis 17:7, the covenant that God made with Abraham, the father of the Christian faith, involved a commitment not just to Abraham, but to his posterity: I will establish my covenant between me and you and your offspring after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you. Though Abraham was saved by faith, God’s covenant commitment was also to Abraham and Sarah’s succeeding generations. A chapter later we discover Abraham’s responsibility in this covenant. God said about Abraham, I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him (Gen 18:19). As the head of his family, it was Abraham’s responsibility to lead his household to keep the way of the Lord. But throughout Israel’s history, this responsibility gets lost, forgotten, and ignored.
B. After Abrahams descendants were delivered from 400 years of slavery in Egypt, and completed 40 years of wondering in the wilderness, the Israelites are ready to enter the promised land. Moses reiterates this covenant responsibility of parents to pass on their spiritual heritage.
You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens are above the earth (Deut 11:18-21).
C. Joshua then leads the Israelites into the promised land. It appears that Joshua DID PASS ON HIS SPIRITUAL HERITAGE. Living to be 120, he would have known his descendants to the fourth generation. He must have passed on his spiritual heritage because Scripture reports, And the people served the Lord all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who outlived Joshua, who had seen all the great work that the Lord had done for Israel…..And all that generation also were gathered to their fathers. But four generations from Joshua the link was broken. We read, And there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel. And the people of Israel did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals. And they abandoned the Lord, the God of their fathers.
D. As Israel’s history continues, the book of Judges reports what happened to God’s covenant people when the fathers did not fulfill the responsibility given to Abraham as the head of the covenant family to command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice. A familiar pattern began to emerge. The people would abandon the Lord, the god of their fathers. He would punish them by letting their enemies abuse them until they cried out to him. Then in mercy God would send a deliverer like, Deborah, Gideon, Jephthah, or Samson. Each time, the Lord delivered them, there was a superficial return to him but not the turning of the hearts of the fathers towards the children to lead them to follow the Lord. Judges 2:18-19 summarizes the pattern of the book and this time in Israel’s history, Whenever the Lord raised up judges for them, the Lord was with the judge, and he saved them from the hand of their enemies all the days of the judge. For the Lord was moved to pity by their groaning because of those who afflicted and oppressed them. But whenever the judge died, they turned back and were more corrupt than their fathers, going after other gods, serving them and bowing down to them.
E. Moving on to the monarchy, King David, although largely a failure as a father, nevertheless recovered some of his covenantal responsibility for building his heritage to at least challenge his son, Solomon, on his death-bed with these words,
Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn that the Lord may establish his word that he spoke concerning me, saying, ‘If your sons pay close attention to their way, to walk before me in faithfulness with all their heart and with all their soul, you shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel' (1 Kings 2:2-5).
F. David’s son, Solomon, began well, humbling himself and asking unselfishly for wisdom; but in 1 Kings 11:4-6, we read, When Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. As punishment for his sin, most of Solomon’s kingdom (10 tribes) are torn away by God from his son, Rehoboam, leaving him only Judah. Judah plunges into idolatry and constantly experiences God’s judgement through the oppression of their enemies, despite God sending prophets like Jeremiah to urge them to return to their covenant obligations to keep God’s moral law. King after king led Judah into evil eventually leading to the Babylonian captivity. The one bright spot during this period was King Josiah. Scripture says, Before him there was no king like him, who turned to the Lord with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his might, according to all the Law of Moses, nor did any like him arise after him (2 Kings 23:25). Yet, it appears that Josiah failed to lead his sons to follow Yahweh. His son, Jehoiaz, did what was evil in the eyes of the Lord (2 Kings 23:32). And his son, Jehoiakim, did what was evil in the eyes of the Lord (23:37). It appears that even godly Josiah failed to build into the next generation.
G. Having established the principle with Abraham that a covenant father was to command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, Israel’s history reveals this stark fact: Obedience to this Fatherhood calling was very rare. The fathers did not turn their hearts and attention to influencing and training their children to follow God’s ways. This failure resulted in the children’s hearts not turning towards their spiritual heritage of belief and obedience to the God of their fathers. But the OT ends on a note of hope. I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. AND HE WILL SUCCEED WHERE ALL THE OTHER PROPHETS FAILED: He will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction (Malachi 4:5-6).
400 years later, it is John the Baptizer who fulfills this promise. It is Jesus who makes this clear. On the surface Malachi’s prophecy looks like it is about solving family discord—father/son conflict. Why would that require a Messiah? But, in fact turning the hearts of the fathers and children back to each other has a far richer meaning. Commentator, Cecil Keil unlocks the secret of this expression:
This Elijah is to lead back the heart of the fathers to the sons and the heart of the sons to the fathers. The meaning of this is not that he will settle disputes in families or restore peace between parents and children; for the leading sin of the nation at the time of our prophet was not family quarrels but estrangement from God. “The fathers” are rather the ancestors…the patriarchs, and generally the pious forefathers, such as David and the godly men of his time….“Turning the heart of the fathers to the sons” does not mean merely directing the love of the fathers to the sons once more, but also restoring the heart of the fathers IN the sons once more, i.e. giving to the sons the father’s dispositions and affections. Then will the heart of the sons also return to their fathers, turn itself towards them, so that they may be like-minded with the pious fathers. (Minor Prophets—10 Volume OT Commentary).
In other words, the OT story of Abraham’s descendants, the fathers of their covenant families failing to pass on their spiritual heritage to their sons after them WILL ONE DAY END. A new era—the dawning of the kingdom of heaven--was still 400 years away, but it would begin with a prophet like Elijah who would TURN THE HEARTS OF THE FATHERS TO THEIR CHILDREN (i.e. cause the fathers to lead their children to have a heart of covenant obedience) and TURN the HEARTS OF THE CHILDREN TO THEIR FATHERS (cause the children to accept and embrace the spiritual heritage that belonged to them). This major re-orientation of the fathers of God’s covenant people back to leading their children to a heart-driven embracing of their spiritual heritage was the starting point for the arrival of the kingdom of heaven. Only the coming Messiah could empower his followers to recover this vital responsibility in God’s kingdom of building a godly legacy.
If this fatherhood calling to build a spiritual heritage for our children and their children that guides them to love and follow Christ is so profoundly important, how do we do it? Here are some practical ideas:
For Guys Without Kids
1. The best time to plant a tree is 25 years ago. One of the greatest ways to invest in a fruitful spiritual heritage is to invest in daily meditation upon God’s Word: To Joshua, God had said, This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success (vs 1:8). What a fruitful legacy he left behind.
2. Another great way to invest in your eternal legacy in your descendant’s lives is to learn to abhor evil (Rom 12:9). One of the reasons to train yourself to hate sin and to love righteousness is the cost or benefit of your actions to your descendants: From Exodus 20, I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments. Our walk with Christ impacts our kids.
For Guys With Kids at Home
You might review Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:18-21 (cited earlier), which give a great pattern for teaching our children. Here is how your influence in their life can prepare their hearts to receive this teaching:
- Invest time with them one-on-one. Jesus appointed the twelve so that they might be with him. Our spiritual heritage is our influence. It requires time.
- Seek to understand them. Ask questions: What is going on in their world of experiences, feelings, and ideas? Jesus became flesh to enter our world.
- Empathize with them. Jesus, our High Priest sympathizes with our weaknesses.
- Give them constant affirmation. Paul wrote to the believers at Thessalonica, You know how, like a father with his children we…encouraged you (vs 2:12).
- Fill their emotional tank with affection. Jesus rebuked his disciples for thinking that giving his affection to children around him was unimportant (Luke 18:15-16).
- Serve them. Be on the lookout for ways to assist them with practical needs. Serving others expresses love. Be servants to one another in love. (Gal 5:13).
For Grandfathers and Great-Grandfathers
- Recognize that loving our grandchildren well is a grace-filled way to still build our heritage no matter how much we may have failed as a father.
- Take the initiative to do special things with them. Even taking them out for an ice cream cone—a grandpa date sends the message that you love them.
- Don’t underestimate the power of your intercession to give strength to your loved one in their spiritual battles. The Exodus 17 picture of Joshua in the valley fighting the Amalekites while Moses prayed for him is a physical picture of the spiritual impact prayer has in defeating evil. When Moses’ arms were lifted in prayer, the Israelites prevailed. When he lowered his arms and stopped praying the Amalekites prevailed. Your children and grandchildren will win spiritual battles if you fight for them in prayer that they will lose if you don’t. You will not always see the victories. But your prayer warfare matters.
As fathers, our most fervent prayer is for God to work in our children’s lives. But the means God uses is for us to be obedient to his Fatherhood calling to build a godly spiritual heritage into our children. Sometimes, it feels like those efforts are failing, and God may not act on the specific timetable we have. But he wants us assured of this truth: Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his commandments! His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed…..For the righteous man will be remembered forever (Ps 112: 1,2,6).
For Further Prayerful Thought:
1. Which aspects of Israelite faithers failure to pass on their spiritual heritage to their children stood out to you?
2. What are some ways in today’s world that you see men concerned for their legacy and some ways you think they aren’t as concerned as they should be about their legacy?
3. What are your biggest challenges to building a godly legacy to pass on to your posterity?
