Last week, I had lunch with a pastor, named Brian Webster who is hitting home runs in his efforts to build a strong men’s ministry despite the race and pace of life for his Washington DC congregation. Here are 4 keys to his success:
a) Strategic thinking about the best time to get men together. In Brian’s words, “NOVA and DC is a very busy area for men. Typically, many men are not coming home until 8:00pm. That means that most family men feel the need to spend weekday evenings at home.” Most of the hard-working men in our churches wrestle with giving enough time to their wife and kids in view of the tremendous time demands of commuting and work. Choosing to attend a men’s event usually takes them away from the home front where they are already running a deficit.
There is, however, one time slot during the week when meeting with men does NOT compete with the need to spend time with their families: the Sunday school hour.“One of the decisions that our session has made is to divide the Adult Sunday School into Men’s and Women’s Sunday School classes. In doing this we are able to speak to the men about how to be the spiritual leaders that God wants them to be. The women choose topics that they are interested in for their Sunday School. We are fortunate in that we have some gifted women Bible teachers.
Having a “men only” and “women only” class is certainly not politically correct. Wouldn’t something this counter-cultural antagonize the women? Here is what happened. “When we divided the Sunday Schools, we were surprised to see overall Sunday School attendance more than double. After the first year the women were asked if they wanted to rejoin the men, and it was unanimous that they wanted to stay separate. We don’t feel that we have to keep the Sunday Schools separate forever, but it has worked well for several years.
b) Teaching content that has been highly valuable to the men. “We intentionally deal with men’s issues in Men’s Sunday School.” Brian found his guys very responsive to material from Men’s Fraternity. “The first year we spoke about the relationship that men have with their fathers, their mothers, and the homes that they grew up in. The second year we studied Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph from the standpoint of what it meant to be spiritual leaders.” This year the men are doing an inductive bible study together on the life of David as a successful or unsuccessful spiritual leader.
c) A teaching style and environment that generates openness.“Men had a chance in a ‘safe’ place (this is key) to talk about some of their hurts and pains.” When time permits, the Christ Church men’s ministry always has small group discussion. “It is during those small group discussions that the men have really opened up, again in a ‘safe’ place, (I can’t overemphasize enough the “safe” place). Many for the first time have revealed some of their deeper relationship struggles and have begun to talk about them.”
d) Intentionality about making men’s discipleship a top priority. “We are convinced that we are to be making disciples (Matthew 28:19). Our desire is to train and disciple our men to be the spiritual leaders of the church and their families that the Bible describes.” Because of this priority the session and men’s ministry leaders invested time and energy to become as effective as possible in building a disciple-making ministry to men at Christ Church, Arlington. They invited me to conduct some training and studied material from No Man Left Behind as well as Forging Bonds of Brotherhood. Perhaps the greatest explanation for their success in men’s ministry is this comment by Brian. “I personally have spiritually grown more through a weekly men’s small group than all the sermons I have either heard or given. We are all to be discipling one another, as we make disciples of Jesus Christ.”
Be sure to contact me with your success stories, comments, or questions. My contact info is below. Here is Brian’s info: Rev Brian Webster, Christ Church, Arlington, VA email: cca_pastor@verizon.net.
