Mission for Married Guys: Love Our Wives Well
Scripture does not just command us to love our wives as Christ loved the church; it tells us HOW.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish (Eph. 5:25-27).
In order to understand this command to husbands we need to notice the expression that begins verse 27 so that. Our Lord’s sacrifice of himself on the cross had a purpose—to make us holy, without blemish, genuinely beautiful in the eyes of our holy God. Similarly, we are to seek to help our wives grow more inwardly beautiful in the eyes of God—to become spiritually mature, more holy, more sanctified.
The parallel does not apply to HOW our brides are sanctified. Jesus is the only sanctifier of our wives—not us. Jesus cleanses wives from their sins—not their husbands.
The parallel does hold with regards to THE GOAL, the end point. We are to be radically committed to our wives’ growth into spiritual beauty, i.e. holiness. As Peter tells wives, the only beauty that will last forever is the inner beauty of godly character.
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves (1 Pet. 3:3-5a).
The best thing I can do to help her inner beauty as a godly woman is to pray. Prayer is a form of agape, self-sacrificial love. I spend some of the 24 hours a day that make up my life—my time on planet earth—interceding for someone else to prosper. Praying specifically for the feminine virtues in Scripture that make up godly womanhood pleases God because he loves it when we base our requests on Scripture. Jesus said, “If you abide in me, AND MY WORDS ABIDE IN YOU, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” John 15:7-8.
Here is a partial picture of godly womanhood, according to Scripture:
Meekness i.e. yielding control to Christ (1 Pet 3:4)
Quiet spirit i.e. being at rest inside, trusting God (1 Pet 3:4)
Treats husband with respect (Eph 5:33)
Lover of her husband and children (Titus 2:4)
Pure i.e. committed to passionate romance in her marriage (Titus 2:5)
Submissive to her husband (Titus 2:5)
Self-controlled (Titus 2:5)
Faithful in all things i.e. reliable, responsible (1 Tim 3:11)
Wants to please her husband (1 Corinth 7:34)
Fears the Lord i.e. respects & follows God’s design of womanhood (Prov 31:10f)
Picture your girlfriend, fiancée or wife being praised by Jesus in eternity for the inner beauty of her heart. By battling in prayer against her sinful nature, you really will make a difference in the beauty our Lord sees, and which honors him. What a staggering thought! Doing all we can to help our wives flourish spiritually—grow in the true beauty of holiness—matters, eternally. Let’s get praying for the woman we love (who battles sin just as much as we do!)
