Gloriously Feminine

On September 11, 2001, at 8:46 am American Airlines Flight 11 crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center complex beginning the assault of Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda upon four IMAGES that represented the evil America, which they hated—the North Tower and South Tower of the World Trade Center which represented the American economy, the Pentagon, which represented the American Military, and either the Capitol or White House, which represented the American government, (not making it that far but crashing in Shanksville) As word spread around America to homes, to schools, to businesses, every American understood that this assault upon the IMAGES that represented America, was an assault upon AMERICA.

Today, there is an unprecedented assault taking place against another IMAGE. It is the IMAGE, which God chose to represent himself. God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. The assault by God’s enemy upon God’s gender design of male and female, differently, to complete each other in a union of love, IMAGES the very nature of the Triune God. Make no mistake about it, the assault upon God’s gender design taking place at this cultural moment is an assault against God, Himself. Today’s episode launches a 5-week May series, asking the question, “what are we—the men of the Church of Jesus Christ going to do about it?”

Gender is not a social construct. The first mention of gender in the Bible occurs with the very first mention of humanity itself. We just read that verse. Our maleness or femaleness is not incidental to our humanness but constitutes its essence. God did not create Adam and Eve into a generic bundle of humanity that he later differentiated. From the start, we are male or female. Gender differences are so important to God that he marked every cell in the female body with XX chromosomes and every masculine cell XY. Over more than forty years of ministry, I have come to see that ignoring God’s gender design is at the root of many, many personal and relational problems. I just had a conversation this week with a woman in her thirties who is beginning to see how the absence of a father in her home caused many dysfunctional behavior patterns in her life. Behind the vast array of social problems in America’s cities is father absence--whether it is girls looking for love through sex and having a baby, or teen boys looking for affirmation of their manhood and a place to belong by joining gangs.

There are two biblical reasons why Christian men must step up and protect the daughters of our homes, our churches, and our nation from today’s destructive radical gender ideology, which seeks to deconstruct God’s design of gender differences. First, Adam was placed in the Garden of Eden (Gen 2:15) to cause Eve and their children to flourish. A man’s job is to sweat, to sacrifice, to spend himself helping his wife, daughter, and son reach their full potential. At the core of their daughter's potential is God’s design for fulfilling womanhood. Second, Adam is placed in the garden to protect Eve and their children from harm. Radical gender ideology is deluding thousands of our daughters into thinking that puberty’s upheaval of rapidly changing bodies and surging hormones, which foster intense anxieties, fears, and self-doubts is caused by being a boy in a girl’s body and solved, therefore, by demanding puberty blockers and cross sex hormones if not gender surgery. Who will stand up to these attacks on our daughters if we don’t? Is anything more abusive than allowing a child to make the decision to permanently mutilate her body and future through puberty blockers, testosterone, and “top” surgery? Is anything more terrifying than a loved one joining a population that has a 40%-50% suicide rate? Can followers of Jesus Christ watch this happen and do nothing?

At a cultural moment when more and more Christian parents are hearing their daughters declare, “I’m trans,” we need to know how to help our daughters who have made such a declaration and, perhaps more importantly, know how to get out in front of daughters who have not. In a moment, we are going to do a quick overview of how loud voices heard through the social media are destroying the confidence of our Christian daughters and granddaughters in God’s design of gender differences. But first—we must observe an important distinction.

The term transgender refers to a girl who thinks she is a boy or a boy who thinks he is a girl. It is important to note that a girl who rejects her feminine body, choosing a trans identity because she wants to be a boy, does not necessarily experience sexual or romantic attraction to other females. Being a lesbian and trans are different things. A lesbian does not deny her femininity, dislike her female body, or want to be a man. Being trans is about identity, not sexual attraction. (As Christians, we know that sexual identity and attraction to the opposite sex belong together; but trans is not homosexual.)  

In my lifetime, no generation of teens has been more susceptible to peer pressure than the current one because of smart phones and the social media. Below are the assaults upon biblical teaching that we must counter. Proverbs 18:17 comes to mind. The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him. Our daughters and granddaughters will believe these arguments if we do not man up and guide them into the truth ABOUT THEIR OWN IDENTITY.

THE GENDER MESSAGES SQUEEZING OUR DAUGHTERS INTO CONFORMITY

A. The Bible is the origin of oppressive patriarchy. Such fallacious thinking is partly due to confusion in the use of the word. Patriarchy can mean, “a system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is traced through the male line” (Websters). With this definition, it is correctly said that patriarchy is biblical. But usually, its literal meaning is more in view. The word patriarchy comes from the Greek word for PATER, father + ARCHE, rule. Rome was a patriarchy. “Patria potestas” in Roman law gave fathers absolute authority over their children, including the right to put them to death. At times, similar absolute rights were given to husbands. But this horrifying abuse is nothing like what was commanded and practiced in the Old and New Testaments. Israelite society practiced the rule of law; men were accountable to the town elders for keeping laws like Leviticus 19:18, You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. New Testament husbands were commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. They were accountable to the elders of the church for their treatment of their wives. The truth is that the Bible teaches male sacrifice, as modeled by Jesus, not male privilege or oppression, as our rising generation of daughters is told. 

B. The Bible teaches the archaic, oppressive idea that a wife should submit to her husband, which demeans women. The chief obstacle to the idea that submission to another’s authority means the submitting one is inferior is The Lord Jesus Christ. Though having all the dignity and inherent worth of the Father, he submitted to the Father in his work of accomplishing our redemption. A worker submitting to his boss does not imply for one second that the worker has less worth or dignity than the boss. A player submitting to a coach does not reflect anyone’s idea that the coach is a superior human being to the player. A citizen submitting to a police officer is not demeaning. Moreover, the Bible does not teach all women to submit to their husbands, but that Christian wives and husbands are assigned different roles in marriage and the church to demonstrate two different aspects of Jesus’ self-sacrificial love to the world. Christian MEN are called to show Jesus to the world by loving their wives as Christ loves his church through sacrificial authority. But Christ also demonstrated sacrificial submission to God the Father. We read, Though he was in the form of God, he did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Phil 2:6-8). This virtue of Christ is portrayed by Christian wives submitting to their husbands. Here is the way one pastor’s wife, Kathy Keller puts it,

Both women and men get to “play the Jesus role” in marriage—Jesus in his sacrificial authority (men), Jesus in his sacrificial submission (women).  By accepting our gender roles, and operating within them, we are able to demonstrate to the world concepts that are so counterintuitive as to be completely unintelligible unless they are lived out by men and women in Christian marriages (The Meaning of Marriage).

C. The Bible oppresses women by teaching traditional family roles—that a woman’s place is in the home while her husband pursues a career outside the home. Thinking that the traditional American family of the fifties is the biblical model is quite misguided. It is undeniable that God created women with extraordinary abilities to create a home for her family. The Bible does not apologize about God’s incredible picture of a godly woman in Proverbs 31 who manages her home superbly. In fact, it was shockingly counter-cultural in the Ancient Near East for the entire book of Proverbs to end with a glorious picture of virtuous womanhood. However, the idea of a woman at home and a man away at work would have been a foreign concept in Israel, as it would be to most everyone born before the Industrial Revolution since, with few exceptions, the workplace was the home. Husbands, wives, and children worked together in the family business. Both Adam and Eve are gifted and given the task in Genesis 1 of building culture. The Proverbs 31 woman’s contribution to the economic welfare of the family is immeasurable. Adam’s calling to provide for his family, materially, is clear in Genesis 2:15; but that calling is joined with the calling to ensure that his wife utilizes all of her gifts.

D. The Bible is sexist—teaching different gender roles that oppress women. Such a view makes God a sexist. EQUAL does not mean INTERCHANGEABLE. In Genesis 1, God makes it clear that Adam and Eve both fully bear his image and share responsibility for exercising dominion over creation. But Genesis 2 is about Adam and Eve’s differences, beginning with how differently God created them. Adam is made from the dust of the ground and is placed in the Garden of Eden to work it, (i.e develop the potential of all that is in the garden, including Eve and their kids). and keep it (i.e. protect the garden and its inhabitants from harm). Eve, however, is made not from the dust, but from another person. No wonder women are so good at relationships! No wonder God’s curse on Eve for her sin was upon her relationships, while Adam’s was upon the ground. God designed male and female differently to complete one another. Furthermore, downplaying differences in men’s and women’s discipleship reflects more the influence of the social media than Scripture. The biblical writers who addressed discipleship said different things to women than they said to men. For example, they appealed to men’s desire to be strong, to motivate them toward godly character but to women’s desire to be beautiful, to motivate them toward godly character.   

E. The Bible’s creation account demeans women by telling wives they were created to be their husband’s helper. It is fair to say that many Bible-believing churches, in defending the Bible’s teaching of different gender roles for husband and wife, do often give the impression (and perhaps even believe) that since Eve was created to be a helper (EZER) to Adam, she has secondary importance. Genesis 2:18 reads, Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” The word helper does suggest a lowly, inferior position, unskilled labor—one who sweeps the floors, does the dishes, or takes out the trash. No wonder so many Christian daughters are open to the idea that the Bible teaches male oppression and privilege. The translators’ decision to choose helper to translate EZER, has led to the unintended tragic conclusion that the Bible teaches that women are inferior to men. Nothing could be further from the Biblical truth. In fact, godly husbands, as Jesus did for his bride, die if necessary so their wives may live. Who is more important, the President or every Secret Service Agent who would give his life to save the Commander in Chief?

The Bible says that Eve bears the image of God equally with Adam and was created because Adam was inadequate by himself. EZER really means powerful partner. The word cannot mean an inferior because it is usually used in the OT to describe GOD! Here are just some of the texts in which God is called an EZER:

• May (The LORD) send you HELP from the sanctuary and give you support from Zion! (Ps 20:2).
• Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our HELP and our shield (Ps 33:20).
• But I am poor and needy; hasten to me, O God! You are my HELP and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay! (Ps 70:5).
• O Israel, trust in the Lord!  He is their HELP and their shield (Ps 115:9).
• I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my HELP come? My HELP comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth (Ps 121:1-2).
• Our HELP is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Ps 124:8).
• Blessed is he whose HELP is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God (Ps 146:5).

The Hebrew word EZER does not imply inferiority but competency! In my view it is nothing short of tragic that we, the church, have allowed Eve’s partnering role with Adam to be demeaned. Perhaps, our masculine pride and insecurity have driven us to subtly want our wives to know they aren’t in charge; we are. But God gave her to us because we are so deficient in ourselves! In fact our wives are like God because they supply what we need!

TAKE AWAYS

1. God created you for this cultural moment when God’s gender design of womanhood is under assault. Please find ways to affirm your daughter and granddaughter (and wife’s) femininity. Please take the initiative to ask your daughter or granddaughter what she is hearing in her circles and through the social media about gender and the Bible’s teaching about womanhood. Listen, listen, listen. If you sense that she is open to your thoughts, guide her gently to consider the corrective to the assaults upon Christianity and gender roles that she is probably hearing.

2. If you are married, tell your wife you need her. Tell her that you know God has given her to you partly because she sees things that you don’t see and need to. Recognize the truth that two are better than one, and that if two people always agree on everything one of them is not necessary. Ask yourself for her opinion often. Proverbs 15:22 says, Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed and Proverbs 24:6 instructs, By wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.

3. Always make her top priority above all but Christ. Not only is she your top priority because Jesus said to love her the way he loves his bride and because your job as a husband and man is to cause others to flourish, but also because her strength is your strength. The most strategic investment you could ever make in your success is helping her develop her potential, because God chose her to be your life partner.

4. Fiercely demand that your children respect your wife’s authority and femininity—also, that your boys treat their sisters with respect. (Competition is okay though!).

5. Understand that even though your wife is a full partner with you in sharing fully the image of God, your roles are NOT interchangeable. You are made to lead. She is designed to partner, assisting you. Recognize that an assisting role creates a hole in her heart that only words of appreciation FROM YOU can fill. It is not by accident that the description of godly womanhood includes these words:

Her husband also praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates (Prov 31:28-31).

For Further Prayerful Thought

1. How do you think the glory of God’s design of femininity is being lost today?
2. What do you think it costs teen girls to reject God’s design of womanhood?
3. Why assaults upon what the Bible teaches about gender roles do you hear most often? Which do you find most difficult to refute?
4. What is God calling you to do to offset the idea that a wife’s calling to fully partner with her husband assigns her the lowly task of being a mere helper?