Steve Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, in their book, Every Woman's Desire, cite a study that shows that eighty-three percent of wives feel their husbands don't even know the basic needs of a woman for emotional intimacy and that a large majority of female divorcees say that their married years were the loneliest years of their lives. As you celebrate Valentine's Day, here are some questions to discuss with your wife that will help you meet the emotional intimacy with you that she craves:
1. Be her partner--help her carry her load "..serve one another in love" Gal 5:13.
What regular tasks in caring for the family do you dislike the most?
In which household tasks do you feel the most alone?
How can I better help you shoulder your load?
2. Be her soul mate--listen to her heart. "You husbands dwell with your wives in an understanding way" 1 Pet 3:7.
How can I better help you share your heart with me?
How can we adjust our daily schedule to make sure we have time to share our day with each other?
3. Be the head of her home--accept responsibility for leading your home and training the children. "Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" Eph 6:4.
What family problems do you feel need to be addressed?
What character training (discipleship) needs to be the focus right now for each of the children?
4. Be her knight in shining armor--romance her. "Rejoice in the wife of your youth" Prov 5:18.
Describe your version of a fabulously romantic weekend together.
Are there some "romance busters" that I commit?
83% of wives say their husbands don't understand their need for emotional intimacy and the same percentage of husbands say their wives don't understand their need for sexual intimacy. Is this intimacy miss-connect affecting us?
5. Be her protector--prevent her from being harmed emotionally and spiritually as well as physically.
Does worry or fear sometimes grip your heart? Tell me about it.
What spiritual battles are you fighting for which I can be praying?
In case she wants some questions to ask you
What do I do that fills your emotional tank?
What gets you down most at work? When there is something weighing heavily on your heart, how can I best help you share it?
How can I give more support to your spiritual leadership at home?
Do I tell you often enough that I admire and respect you?
(Scroll up to also see the article, What Is Romance to a Woman?