One of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned about leadership comes from the Christmas Story. Max Lucado describes the momentous event of the incarnation.
“While the creatures of earth walked unaware, Divinity arrived. Heaven opened herself and placed her most precious one in a human womb.
The omnipotent, in one instant, made himself breakable. He who had been spirit became pierceable. He who was larger than the universe became an embryo. And he who sustains the world with a word chose to be dependent upon the nourishment of a young girl.
God as a fetus. Holiness sleeping in a womb. The creator of life being created.
God was given eyebrows, elbows, two kidneys, and a spleen. He stretched against the walls and floated in the amniotic fluid of his mother.
God had come near.” Max Lucado, God Came Near
When I was a junior in high school, I met a man named John Hartsock, who radically changed my life. He had that impact for one reason: He came into my world.
My world was my high school. That’s where my friends were, where I spent most of my day, where I wanted to be accepted, where I spent my spare time involved with sports and student government. It was into this world that John came as the Young Life leader of my high school. He started hanging out at my high school and my high school events. He got to know me and my friends on our turf. Through his influence I made the decision to re-dedicate my life to Christ.
John and Young Life’s “incarnational” approach to relationships is a pattern that is enormously valuable for all of us. For example, it makes us more effective at the beginning of a relationship –when we meet someone-- if we ask them about their world and take a genuine interest in it.
When it comes to ministry to men, it is invaluable to get into their world. As a pastor, I had lunch with nearly every man in my congregation and tried to meet them at their office if it could work out. I realized that on Sunday mornings, they were always on my turf. I wanted to get onto their turf, and see them in the world where they were respected. As men’s ministry leaders , one of the best ways to deepen a friendship with a man is to get into his world.
On the home front, as we are on the way home from work, it is invaluable to build the discipline of mentally thinking through what our wife’s day was like—to put ourselves in her shoes and mentally walk through her day. Then when she begins to talk about her day, we are in a much better position to respond to her with understanding. And that understanding meets a deep need for connection in her heart.
Putting ourselves in the shoes of our kids is also an essential part of being their dad. We need to seize opportunities, when we are together, to ask them about their world—to ask what they’ve been studying lately in history or to ask how the test or the try-out went. I know that I need to overcome my laziness and self-centeredness to think about and get into their world.
I remember realizing one day that when I played with my kids, it was always my games—ping pong, football, basketball, not their games—Halo, Modern Warfare, Madden. So I started playing video games with them. But I was so bad that they said, “Dad, we know you are trying to do what we like to do, but you’re so awful you ruin the game. Could we just play by ourselves?” Oh well….
Lucado continues to describe the mystery of the incarnation:
“Majesty in the midst of the mundane. Holiness in the filth of sheep manure and sweat. Divinity entering the world on the floor of a stable through the womb of a teenager….
This baby had overlooked the universe. These rags keeping him warm were the robes of eternity. His golden throne room had been abandoned in favor of a dirty sheep pen. And worshipping angels had been replaced with kind but bewildered shepherds.”
Before our God redeemed us, he first came into our world. May we be inspired to follow his example and enter the world of those we love!
